Change Unchanging. Oil On canvas. 50 by 50 inches.

An old, unfinished canvas gets updated with a brand-new look. Over two days, I layer cadmium, scarlet, crimson, magenta and rose, then surround it with a contrast of lamp black, olive green and mid-yellow. I add splotches in the same green-black tones, beginning gently and slowly and rapidly increasing in force, until I am breathless and my legs ache. While working, I think about the way that I crave sameness and stability, and make patterns that mimic permanence. Each day I reach for the same food, and prefer to end each day in the same bed. When my patterns are disrupted, I am overwhelmed by a sense of dizzying freedom, even while strenuously resisting it.