Life Painting Bianca

Oil on canvas

30 by 40 centimeters

Bianca is petite but not angular and apparently young but, upon closer inspection and hearing her talk, not as young as she first appears. She wears a white shirt with frilled sleeves and a green scarf and has eyes that are a fierier shade than brown, shot through with amber and green lights. Her hair is fantastic, hanging in thick ringlets that fall past her shoulders, over the scarf and down her back.

I think she is going to be easy to paint. But an experienced and sought-after model, Bianca tilts her head and shoulders at an angle which she claims she finds comfortable but which I find impossible to paint. When I leave, I am happy enough with my attempt but a few hours later, when I dare to look, I’m horrified by poor Bianca’s forehead which resembles (at least in shape) a crushed can of coke rather than the front of a human skull.

Two weeks ago, I would have set about earnestly to correct it. But now, having learned that time is more precious than paint and canvas, I scrape it off. Although an exquisitely painful experience, I’m also relieved, that I won’t be spending hours trying to mend an irredeemable disaster.

I replace Bianca’s head and shoulders with broad, energetic strokes plus few softer dabs, sad that I am not yet a portraitist, but relieved that there is still so much I can do.